


Make you feel my love

by ItsKarla



Series: AaronDingleWeek2020 [7]
Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Feelings, Love, M/M, Missing scene after the SSW16, Smut, Vulnerable Robert Sugden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27085591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsKarla/pseuds/ItsKarla
Summary: Inspired by all the SSW16 feels on tumblr and twitter: a missing scene.It takes place after Aaron gets released from hospital.———My prompt 7 for the AaronDingleWeek: free choice
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Series: AaronDingleWeek2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967143
Comments: 12
Kudos: 122





	Make you feel my love

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my iPhone today. I hope it‘s okay?!?
> 
> Massive thanks to Sarah and Jase for helping me with my grammar and wrong words ❤️ with all my AaronWeek fics (and not only them)

“Careful, careful. Okay. C‘mon. Slowly, yeah?“

His boyfriend is muttering stuff like that non stop while he is guiding Aaron from the car through the door into the back room of the pub. Robert‘s hands are on his lower back and curled around his arm as if he is an 80-year-old. 

“I got it,“ he grits out.

It‘s not like Robert is listening though, he keeps ushering him until Aaron is seated on the couch, only then he lets go.

Robert is like that since the doctor informed them that Aaron was ready to leave the hospital. His boyfriend started fussing around him, even insisted on helping him to put his clothes on. At first it was kinda adorable, but the heartwarming feeling wore off quickly when Robert shouted at the nurses to bring him a wheelchair. Despite Aaron‘s affirmation that he was perfectly capable of walking on his own, the stubborn Sugden pushed him out of the doors ten minutes later.

Aaron thought Robert would calm down once they were at home, but…

“Better lay down, have a rest. You must be exhausted,“ Robert says while he throws his leather jacket over the armchair. “Do you want something? Tea? Or something to eat? Are you hungry? I could cook something…“

“I‘m good.“

“Lemme check the fridge…“ Robert walks over to the kitchen and opens it for a quick check. He sighs. “Okay,... err, we could order something? Are you up for Pad Thai? Or Indian?“

“I‘m good.“

“You really should eat, you know, to get your strength back. I could grab us a burger from the Woolie…“

Aaron sighs in defeat while his boyfriend is still rambling about food. He gets it. He gets why Robert is like that. But it‘s just too much.

He doesn‘t feel weak. He’s not hungry. He can walk on his own. 

He doesn‘t have the heart to tell Robert. Aaron just lets it happen. Lets Robert order Thai, lets him rub his feet, lets him put a blanket over them when they are cuddling on the couch although Aaron is bloody sweating. Robert is curled around him like an octopus, clinging onto him. 

And Aaron loves that, cuddling. Normally.

But this isn‘t normal, nothing is. Not after what they‘ve been through. So right now, the cuddling doesn‘t make him feel loved and cherished and safe like it usually does - the leg across his thighs presses down too hard, the arm across his chest is too heavy, too tight. Aaron feels trapped. Like he can‘t breathe. 

He can‘t breathe.

Suddenly he is in the water again, it‘s rising and rising, it‘s above his lip already and soon his nose will be underwater and won‘t be able to breathe, these are his last breaths and Robert is still here, he needs to leave now, he needs to escape, tell Liv he loved her.

“Need to get up,“ Robert says and pulls him literally back to the surface. 

Aaron watches his boyfriend heading to the bathroom, his chest starts heaving and he‘s gasping for air. It‘s all too much.

He needs to breathe. He needs air.

Stumbling on his feet, Aaron almost trips over. His vision is a small tunnel, the rest is just a blur. He yanks the door open and staggers on shaky legs towards the street. It’s a cold October night and the chilly air fills his lungs. Aaron sucks it in desperately and sobs in relief.

Somehow he ends up on the bridge. The stream underneath is small and Aaron stares at the swirling water. 

He almost died. 

There had been times in his life where he wanted it to end, but not now. Not now! When he had fought successfully against his demons, when he was finally, truly happy. 

The silver band around his finger shines in the moonlight. 

Engaged. He is engaged now. 

His thoughts wander back to Robert, who wanted to stay with him down there, who somehow saved him against all odds, who didn‘t leave his side in hospital. 

The guilty conscience hits him like a truck. Aaron just left him while he was taking a piss. He imagines Robert coming back to an empty living room, no fiancé, no note, no anything. 

He pulls out his phone. It must be switched to silent, because there are 8 calls and 4 messages from Robert. Instead of calling back, Aaron decides to go home, apologise face to face.

When he opens the door, he finds Robert on the couch, sitting there, just staring at the black telly. Aaron feels awful.

“Rob…“

“What the hell, Aaron?“ his boyfriend spits out angrily and glares at him.

“I‘m sorry,“ he mutters.

Robert jumps up from the sofa and starts pacing. “You were just gone!”

“I went for a walk,“ he tries to explain and it sounds lame even to his own ears.

“You went for a-? Aaron, you need  _ rest _ !“ Robert shouts at him, like he is some stupid child that gets told off.

“I needed  _ air _ !“ he finally snaps. “It‘s too much, I needed to breathe!“

Robert freezes and takes a small step back. His green eyes go big and his shoulders drop. “I‘m sorry if I am too much for you.“

“Rob…” Aaron sighs and bites his lip, regretting what he said already. He reaches out for his boyfriend, but Robert takes another step back. 

“You missed your mum and Liv, they already went to bed. I‘m going upstairs now, too. Night, Aaron,“ he says with a flat voice. He looks tired.

The sounds of him stomping up the staircase are matching the cracks of Aaron‘s heart. 

He is a horrible person, he knows that. Horrible and selfish.

This isn‘t how he wanted the first night at home to be after they got engaged. A fight with Robert is unbearable after what they‘ve been through. 

For a long moment he is rooted to the spot, unable to move. He wishes he was better with words, he wishes he could talk with Robert about his feelings, but it feels like his tongue is a bloody knot and his mind just comes up blank when he tries to think of proper words. 

With a sigh he starts moving and goes upstairs, takes a short break in the bathroom.

He needs to fix this. They both hated fighting before going to bed.

After he‘s finished, Aaron sneaks quietly into the bedroom. The light is already off, but the blinds are not closed and he can see Robert lying there on his side, facing the wall. There is an awkward silence, causing Aaron to swallow a few times against the lump in his throat. 

He slides into bed, onto his back and stares at the ceiling. His side is cold and causes him to shiver. It feels weird... the last time he was in this bed, before the crash, they were so happy. Aaron remembers their little banter after he came back from taking a bath, Robert laughing and pulling him back to bed…

And now he is so far away. This is even worse than Robert clinging to him. So much worse. 

Aaron rolls towards him, rolls on his side until he is spooning him from behind. 

“Rob…“ he whispers hoarsely, his eyes are stinging with hot tears. 

He lays his arm around Robert carefully, not sure if the gesture is welcome, but his boyfriend grabs his hand like a lifeline and intertwines their finger immediately. 

Nobody is saying anything. 

But the warmth of Robert‘s body, strong and solid next to him, feeling his heartbeat - it‘s good. Soothing. 

At some point they would need to talk about what happened, proper talk. Aaron had therapy long enough already to know that bottling up isn‘t helping. 

Robert‘s breathing slows down and the hand loses its grip when he drifts off. After spending the past nights on that horrible hospital chair he must be truly exhausted.

Despite his own efforts, Aaron can‘t find sleep. He‘s just… awake. 

Realising that this will be a long night, he rolls over with a sigh and grabs his phone. 

It‘s around 1am, when Robert starts thrashing around. Kicking in his sleep is normal, Aaron is used to it by now, but this is different. This is his whole body struggling. His breath is uneven and he lets out a whimper.

He heard Robert doing all sorts of noises, laughing, cackling, snickering, sighing, moaning, panting… but never whimpering. Robert doesn‘t whimper.

Aaron puts his phone away, totally alert now, and switches the little bedside lamp on.

Robert is still sleeping, his eyes are closed, but whatever is happening in his dream, it must be haunting. 

“Aaron…“ he gasps.

His heart clenches. This dream is about him. 

“Not leaving you.“

He squeezes his eyes shut. This dream is about the water. Robert would have stayed with him. Robert gave him his last breath. 

The water, the cold, the desperation to get air. 

Another whimper pulls him out of his own terror. He can‘t panic now, he needs to focus on Robert first. 

“No...please…“ Robert is thrashing around again, his long limbs are helplessly twitching. 

Aaron has never seen him like that. Usually Robert is the strong one, who’s keeping a clear head for both of them when Aaron can‘t. Robert is the strong one, guiding him through his bad days.

He has no clue how to do it the other way around. 

He isn‘t good with words like Robert. 

But he‘s got to try. Aaron puts his hand on his boyfriend‘s shoulder, gently, to not startle him. The skin is cold and sweaty under his palm.

“Rob.“ He carefully shakes him. “Robert.“

He wakes up with a harsh gasp, then he‘s coughing and panting for air frantically. 

“It‘s okay, Rob. You‘re awake now. You‘re awake,“ Aaron mutters and strokes his biceps. 

The green eyes dart around in the room, before they land on his face, huge and full of horror. Aaron‘s heart breaks again. 

“It was a dream,“ he whispers, “it‘s all good.“

Which is a big fat lie, but he is willing to babble every nonsense as long as it helps in calming Robert down. 

His boyfriend lunges at him and pulls him into a bone crushing hug. Aaron wraps his arms around the shaking torso.

“You‘re alive, you‘re…“ Robert wheezes out.

“You saved me.“ He kisses the sweaty temple and nuzzles against Robert‘s cheek.

“No, I couldn‘t. I couldn‘t. And you-” Robert voice breaks. He sounds so bloody small, never ever had he sounded like that and it‘s more than Aaron can take.

“Just a dream, Rob,“ he whispers, blinking away the tears. 

Robert saved his life. Robert gave him his last breath. The thought of how much the other man loves him, is almost crushing. 

He wriggles free from the tight embrace and takes Robert‘s hand. Aaron sucks with words, so he‘s gotta do this differently. He lays the hand on his chest, right above his heart, for Robert to feel his heartbeat.

“I‘m alive. You saved me.“

He kisses him softly. Closed lips on closed lips, but he tries to put his feelings into it. 

All the things he can‘t say. Thank you for saving me in more ways than one, thank you for being my rock, my world, my everything, thank you for loving me back.

He is still not used to the thought - and probably never will be - that someone like Robert would want someone like him, with all his baggage, his issues, his visible and invisible scars.

It‘s Robert who opens his mouth and nudges his tongue against Aaron‘s lips. He just goes with it. Kissing Robert makes the world stop for a moment.

Nothing else matters then. Just them. 

He feels Robert slowly relaxing again, only now he realises how tense his muscles were. His hands start stroking up and down along the spine. 

Aaron loved that Robert sleeps just in his pants, loves the heat of his body, the smooth feeling of his skin. 

The erratic breathing has slowed down as well. Robert is shivering and Aaron pulls back to put the cover back over them. At some point Robert must have kicked it away. 

“No,“ Robert says quickly and there is still an edge in his voice, “don‘t stop. Don‘t…“

For a moment he isn‘t sure if that‘s a good idea, after they‘re both so riled up, with the trauma still not processed. But then again, if that‘s what Robert needs right now, Aaron would give it to him. Maybe it‘s what they both need. 

“Are you sure?“ he whispers, because he has to.

Their eyes lock. The light of the little lamp is a dimmed warm yellow, but Robert‘s skin is alarmingly pale. His freckles are standing out. He looks so young and open, and Aaron knows that not many people ever saw him like that, maybe not even his sister. Robert Sugden doesn’t let his walls down like that usually.

“Wanna feel you,“ he whispers back. The green eyes are pleading. “Like with your heartbeat… wanna feel you.“

Aaron kisses him again. His hands are moving again, climbing up the strong biceps over the broad shoulders to the neck, where the skin is so smooth and hot. Robert pulse is thumping under his thumb and yeah, maybe this is something they both need right now. 

They are alive. They made it. 

Their tongues are touching, Robert‘s full lips are sliding against his, so perfect. He moves closer until they are flush against from head to toe. Warmth spreads in Aaron‘s belly, heat in his groin. They fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle.

He pulls off those lips, ignoring the little noise of protest, to move down to that gorgeous little dimple on Robert‘s chin. Aaron kisses it and starts mouthing along the jawline. God that jaw. He rubs his scruff against it, marvels at the little hiss he gets in return.

He pushes softly until Robert is lying on his back and drapes himself on top. The little earlobe gets sucked in. Robert willingly turns his head to give him better access and Aaron nibbles with his teeth. He breaths out carefully through his nose, right into Robert‘s ear - he knows how much his boyfriend loves this. And indeed, a little moan escapes his mouth as his body shivers and he wraps his arms around Aaron.

“Feel me then,“ Aaron whispers into his boyfriend‘s ear and rolls his hips.

They aren‘t fully hard, not yet, not after everything that happened. But they‘re getting there. 

Aaron feels his blood rushing down, feels his nerves setting on fire. 

He slides down, takes a break at Robert‘s neck, takes a deep breath of his favourite smell - Hugo Boss perfume, a lime shower gel and  _ home _ \- before he attacks the collar bone with his lips and sucks. He marks Robert, causing another sweet little moan.

Further down, to the chest now. He uses his scruff again, giving the left bud a bit of attention until it hardens under the scratch. When the skin is turning red, he licks the nipple to make it wet, then he blows cold air on it. Robert hisses again, his hands find their way in Aaron curls.

“Aaron.“ A soft sigh. It‘s barely audible.

He looks up. Robert‘s eyes are closed, his lips are slightly parted. The face is no longer pale, it‘s rosy and the lips are wet and pink. His boyfriend is melting now under his touch.

He kisses down his belly. 

“I‘m here,“ he whispers against the skin, rubs his nose against it. “Feel me.“

He dips his tongue playfully in the belly button, loves how Robert squirms underneath him, because this is one of the few spots where he is hella ticklish. 

A little snicker and the tension is gone. It‘s the last little thing that was needed to clear the anxious feelings of the nightmare out, like a dam is broken. 

Robert fingers tighten and pull softly.

“Your curls…”

Aaron grins against the skin as he kisses down the happy trail. Yeah, the curls are new. In the hospital he wasn‘t arsed with putting gel in his hair. Turns out, Robert loves his curly style so maybe he’ll leave them like this. 

He pulls the black pants down, just enough to free Robert‘s cock. He‘s hard now and his hips are eagerly jerking up.

Aaron smiles fondly, lets his breath ghost over the sensitive skin, before he licks a long stripe from the balls up to the tip. 

The groan he gets out of Robert is delicious, long and deep, arousal sparks hot inside Aaron. For a little moment he thinks about what to do next. All he knows is that he doesn‘t want this to be a quick blowjob. 

He crawls up again, nudges Robert‘s shoulder until he‘s lying on his side, then he‘s spooning him from behind. Robert starts grinding his arse against him immediately.

“Wanna feel you,“ he mutters again.

They move together in a slow rhythm, Aaron rocks his hips, rubs his clothed cock against his boyfriend. 

Robert turns his head, eyes still closed and the angle is a bit awkward but they kiss and it‘s one of those kisses that make Aaron‘s toes curl, that makes his heart swell until it feels too big for his chest. 

He reaches under his pillow, searches blindly for the small bottle that is hidden there. 

They break the kiss, Aaron coates his fingers with lube and Robert shoves his pants down. 

His hand moves down again. Robert arches his back and pulls his leg up to give him better access. Aaron plays with the hole and kisses the back of Robert‘s neck. He is in no rush.

The last time they did this was before he went into the bathroom, on the day of the crash. It was a morning quickie, heated and rushed, Aaron rode Robert and when they were close he leaned down and kissed Robert passionately. They swallowed each other's strangled moans to not wake up the others. 

This time is different. This is slow. More intimate. 

It isn‘t just bare bodies seeking pleasure.

It‘s bare souls seeking their anchor. 

Aaron pushes his finger in. “Feel me.“

His lips never leave Robert‘s neck, they coat his skin with sweet pecks. 

“Aaron…”

Robert is getting impatient now. Usually he would use more fingers to open him up, but Aaron knows what Robert wants. He wants to feel it, wants to feel the sting. 

He pulls his finger out and puts lube on his cock. He lifts himself up on his elbow, because he wants to see Robert‘s face when he finally pushes in. 

His boyfriend furrows his brows and lets out a high-pitched moan when his body opens up for Aaron. He gives him a moment to get used to it, peppers small kisses on Robert‘s cheek and his moles. 

“I‘m here,“ he breaths out, “we‘re alive, Rob. You saved us.“

He carefully rolls his hips. In this position he can‘t get fully in, but that‘s not important. 

Their bodies are moving in sync now, becoming one. Aaron feels this deep connection, he can‘t even describe. He leans his forehead on Robert‘s temple, not able to hold back a deep groan. 

He grabs Robert‘s hand again, their fingers interlocking. The metal band is pressing against Aaron‘s skin. The engagement ring. 

Tears are prickling in his eyes again. This is his second chance with the man he loves. 

Down in the water he used his last breath to tell Robert he loved him. 

He didn‘t say it before often enough. 

“I love you,“ he croaks out. “I love you so much.“

“Love you too,“ Robert gasps and turns his head to kiss again, but Aaron just looks down on him. 

“What I said in the woods,“ he starts, voice trembling, “it‘s true. You‘re amazing, Rob. You‘re…“ He swallows hard. “You‘re everything.“

The green eyes are getting shiny now too, the chin is wobbling slightly. Aaron just closes his eyes and kisses Robert deeply.

Although they went slow so far, he can feel the heat coiling already in his belly. He‘s speeding up a bit now, snaps his hips harder. 

Without pulling his fingers free, he moves both their fists down, then he guides Robert hand to grab his own cock. He wraps his hand around Robert‘s. They jerk him off together, in the same rhythm of his thrusts. 

“Aaron…,“ Robert wheezes into his mouth desperately.

Only seconds later he‘s coming over their fists and Aaron lets go, lets himself tip over the edge.

It‘s a quiet orgasm, one that feels as if he‘s curling up in his own skin. Imploding. 

His whole body is shaking and twitching. 

He‘s falling back on the pillow and for a few minutes they are just lying there and trying to come down from their high. Aaron‘s skin is tingling everywhere, his sensitive cock is burning as it’s still buried in Robert's tight heat. 

He doesn‘t wanna pull out yet. 

Ignoring the sticky feeling of come and lube down there, he curls up against the hot body. 

Cleaning up can wait.

Being here, right now, with his fiancé cannot wait. 

It‘s how they fall asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> So that‘s it.  
> I hope you enjoyed this week! ❤️


End file.
